Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
