just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
