he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
