Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
