I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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