she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I want to make a zoo with you.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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