Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
