I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
