And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
