She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
