Screwed.edu
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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