I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
