So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
