Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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