Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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