I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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