Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
