That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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