i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
