Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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