Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
