were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
