sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
