Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
