The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Help. Why am I so naked?
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