God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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