i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
