good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize