Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
