You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
