you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
