i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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