I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize