what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
