plz talk dirty to me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
