yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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