I cockslap morals
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
