There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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