eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
