so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
