week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
