He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
