I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
