Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
