just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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