All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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