also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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