Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
only if we run a train.
done.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
