i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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