You work out of a Hotel?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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