I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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