did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
