no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
