Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize