dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
