Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
