Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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